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Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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2:23 pm
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| Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
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8:30 pm
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1:26 am
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sometimes i wish it was easier for me to say what's on my mind...cause there are so many things i'd like to change right now and i wonder just how much i could accomplish if i just said something.
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(1 scream at the make believe | scream at the stars...)
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| Saturday, December 9th, 2006
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7:14 am
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fuuuuuuck it is fucking freezing in my room. i can't sleep. the sheet i hung over my window in attempts to keep some of the cold out of my room is billowing out. so, i have fucking freezing air blowing into my room. while the window is shut and "locked". sweet. its only that much more awesome cause my bed is right next to the window. i almost suffocated myself trying to keep my head warm with my blankets. i love umass.
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(3 scream at the make believe | scream at the stars...)
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| Sunday, November 26th, 2006
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12:27 am
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| Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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9:11 pm
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i really hate what studying does for my attitude. ive been in such a pissy mood for the past three or four weeks because i've had exam after exam after exam. as soon as i'm done studying for one thing, there's three more things to study for. i feel like i haven't really been able to relax for a long time. i mean sure, i'll take a day during the weekend, but it hardly seems like enough. i feel like i haven't really socialized at all, especially with my roommates, which is funny cause, well, they're my roommates. i've become so irritable about the smallest things that normally i'd just let go. getting drunk on the weekends doesn't help me relax for longer than the alcohol lasts. i need a fucking vacation.
current mood: crazy
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(6 scream at the make believe | scream at the stars...)
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| Saturday, October 7th, 2006
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10:47 pm
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| Saturday, September 9th, 2006
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9:34 am
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it's sorta awkward when you hear things being said about you when you're thought to have been asleep. not that i didn't already agree with half the things that were said, but some of the things made it seem as though i were naive and looking for something that doesn't exist. i don't have a hard time letting go of things because i'm afraid to be single...yeah i haven't had more than a couple months break at a time of being single between relationships since 10th grade, but that does not make me a bad person, nor does it imply that i can't live without relationships. I could choose the single life of going to parties and hooking up or seeing random people, but i know it's not for me. the idea of it never felt right. and so what if it does not take me that long to meet other people after relationships...it is how it is. i don't get into relationships for the security. and in regards to my current situation, i know what you all think i should do. i'm not hanging on to anything for lack of nobody waiting for me when it's gone. i am just the kind of person that can't break something off until i am absolutely 100 percent without a doubt sure that there's no hope. even if you think that's a stupid way to deal with the situation, it's still my decision to make. right now i've just got a lot of factors supporting a break up and also a lot of factors still supporting staying together, so i'm trying really hard to assess what is truly important to me. that's all, really. i know breaking up with someone is hard for me, but i usually come through and do what i have to if i see it fit.
in terms of what i do want, i want what most people want. my idea of being 'swept off my feet' isn't "zomg plz spend money on me and take me everywhere". it is more along the lines of meeting someone who is on the same page as me in regards to lots of things, someone that just gets me. i'd go more into it, but i don't really feel like it.
btw. this post isn't meant as a reply to what i heard last night. it's just that what i heard got me thinking and i wanted to try and write down what was in my head...so yeah. i guess that's all.
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(6 scream at the make believe | scream at the stars...)
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| Saturday, August 12th, 2006
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11:52 am
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do you ever have one of those days when nobody else is around, and you're sitting and looking out the window, and it's a gorgeous day out...and you can almost hear it whispering in the wind, something telling you to go do something great, to be inspired and create something that will change you or maybe others...and you don't know how to do that? like, today is the day you could discover the secret meaning of life, if you just keep looking closer, yet you have no idea how to even start looking. i just have this urge to connect with something...i need energy, but in the creative sense. i don't know if that sounds weird to anyone.
also, consider yourselves lucky to even see an entry pop up in my livejournal :P it's not often i feel like writing ANYTHING down, let alone sharing thoughts that i believe to be somewhat serious.
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(4 scream at the make believe | scream at the stars...)
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| Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
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3:04 pm
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